Nope, I didn't misunderstand you at all. You said:
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After our son was born she became more demanding and there was a waiting period before she could give up her rights. During this period she requested that our agreement include phone communications. We felt like we had to agree, but were somewhat concerned because the adoption happened quickly and we really are still getting to know one another.
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So, during a time where she has to wait to give up her rights, she decides she wants a way to reach you other than through the agency. She presents it. You agree but only do so because you felt you had to. If you weren't comfortable with changes in communication you should have said so then, even if it would have resulted in her realizing that your family was not the perfect match for her child. Communication in open adoptions ebbs and flows over the years. That's just something you'll come to realize with time. Even when you set your boundaries, which is your right to do and could help alleviate some tension, be prepared for things to change with the years. Your feelings. Her feelings. And, most importantly, the child's feelings.