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you may have misunderstood some facts. we negotiated our agreement before our son was born. after he was given to us after his birth she requested that the agreement include a way for her to reach us directly rather than through the agency. we never discussed regular phone calls but didn't even mind the thought of them because we liked her a alot when we met her. However, we do mind all the pressure for visits when we were there and on each phone call knowing full well that we only agreed to one visit per year. it is that pressure and not honoring the boundaries to which we agreed that makes the phone calls difficult and the feeling that she is being intrusive.
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