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Hi Adee,
Welcome!!!!
I really like your posts. Your concern about adopting the family, that feeling can happen. We met with bparents and their families during the match. It was wonderful, for us. I still have contact with the bfather's mother and aunt over email. And just recently started emailing with bmom (we talk on the phone usually).
The level of contact has slowed down since DD was born. I would be lying if I said that the level of contact isn't overwhelming at times, however, I think it is due to the newness (is that a word?) of our relationship and trying to figure out the balance that works for us. I went through much of the same emotions when I met DH and struggled to know where I fit for him, etc.
I agree with the posters above who say to figure out what level of openness you'd be open to, and let your agency/adoption atty/facilitator know what you're open to, and their job is to match you with an expectant mother/family who would want the same kind of openness. There really is the right match out there for everyone.
We're off to see the bfamily Monday for a barbecue. It should be a good time. I am a little nervous.. but not to see them, more of calling myself or dh mommy and daddy in front of them for the first time. But we'll get through it. ;-)
Good luck in your process!
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