You know what? I would feel bothered, too.
But most likely, the bgma is looking for a "tactful" way to give you this info, and that's what occurred to her.
My advice? Send a couple cards to Bear's bfamily. Some flowers
if you feel up to it.
Send them a really nice letter about Bear. Use all the terms you want used about you. Talk about nice stuff you know about them, maybe.
And Happy Mother's Day. You deserve it, too