You might also look at
www.a4everfamily.org to know that you are NOT ALONE!!!!! Our son did some of what you're describing (the whining was INCESSANT), although we did have a honeymoon period (which made it hard to figure out what was going on.) Holding Time (as Nancy's suggested) helped TONS. We have since gotten professional help, but I can say that he is now doing really well. Hang in there!!!
Hugs!