Thoughts....
I am an adoptive mom, of bio brothers. Although our adoption is not open, I have been speaking with their mom, whom I like great deal, since my eldest son's birth. In the next few days, my husband and I will see her again for the birth of our second son. Before beginning the adoption process, I was very prepared that with a US adoption and a more open adoption environment, that there would be a fair likllihood that some contact between my children and their birth family would take place down the line. I am fine with it and will provide my children any support and assistance they may want or need once they have decided to search. However, at this point looking forward, if I had the choice, I would prefer that my children not be contacted out of the blue. We have been told that there are websites where information can be entered to pursue a match. I think this method provides a means of safety for both my children and their bmom.
I know that this adoption site is visited by people involved with the process, including me, but the personal inquiries I have made about adopted men indicate a generally limited interest in reunion. Significantly lower then for women (note: I don't mean to offend anyone, this info is based solely on my info gathering among family and friend involved with adoption) For this reason in particular, I am concerned about my sons being contacted if they are either not ready or simply disinterested. As with all moms bmom's, bio or adoptive, my job is to put my children first and if they need to meet their bmom I will do everything in my power to make it happen, but I would prefer it be their choice.
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