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Old 05-01-2006, 02:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crick
Chielu...I see your points. But...regardless of the fact that one wishes the best for the mom making a decision to raise her child, there is still a grief process of feeling that you were about to be a parent and it didn't happen.

It's a natural part of life to grieve...even for things not meant to happen. We do it all the time...a job we didn't get, a home we didn't own, a life we wished we had but don't. So if we grieve over "little" things such as these, obviously one would grieve for a child not meant to be theirs.

I think though...that your post is insensitive here on this thread. You've got valid points...because as you say, if a mom decides she can parent after all, that is indeed a good thing. Still though...do you really feel this is the right time or place to say that? Can one grieve a little without having all this shoved at her?

Lastly...I think it's a bit arrogant of you to state that "WE", meaning all adoptees feel a certain way. Why not just speak for yourself instead of making a blanket statement to include everyone else? Not every adoptee feels as you do..to be part of their flesh and blood or raised by "their" people.

JMO...

My thoughts exactly... regardless of what angle you see this from, the OP is hurting from the loss of a child she thought might be in her family. She must be allowed to grieve, just as we grieve for other situations that don't work out.
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