[crick]

chielu...I believe it would be fruitless to come to a meeting of the minds simply because I can feel the distaste and disgust you seem to have for aparents simply because you call them adoptors...meaning baby stealers or whatever other definition you want to put in there. Guess I'm a glutton for punishment though...

Bottom line...I totally get that there are adoptees who feel as you do, or those who will feel strongly about wanting to search for their roots. I have no problem with that at all. I might have some insecurities or fears about that day when it happens, but if I do, they are mine...and mine to deal with. Doesn't mean I won't support my children when they decide they want to search. And it doesn't mean that I don't think they go through a grieving process over what was lost. I may be an aparent, but I'm not evil or without empathy, despite yours or any other anti adoption folk's beliefs.

And I do think when an adoptee tells me they don't want to search, they are telling me the truth. Because the ones I hear it from are on this site, other sites, heck, even my husband. I have no vested interest one way or the other if they decide to search or not, so I'll go ahead and believe what they as an INDIVIDUAL tell me. It's not for you or anyone else to tell them they are liars or in denial.

Just like I believe YOU when you say these things are important to you and have such contempt for aparents. I believe that 100%.

At any rate, no one said anything about adoptees not having losses or grief. It's not a competition or a contest to measure out grief. It's simply one person's grief at this time trying to sort it all out. One person's time of need. A person you felt the need to stomp all over in order to discuss how evil adoption is. That, is what I have an issue with, as do many on here.