[swanzie]

Boy oh boy - when it rains it pours in your house!

First let me say congrats on the little ones in your house currently! It sounds like you have made big impact and have attached well with these boys. That is amazing and I aplaud you for that...especially with the tough situation that the boys are in. With most foster to adopt cases the more time you have them the better off you are going to be when it comes down to the trial.

Secondly - on the next two boys who you are considereing as a forever family. With the anger that scares me the most with the foster children I have had. This is an indication of attachment disorder. Do you know any more of their story?? Can you foster then adopt with these kids? Have they had many placements and have you talked with their other foster parents? AND please go to the attachment forum and read alot on the attachment issues you might encounter. This is a BIG undertaking when kids come with this kind of baggage. I am not saying don't do it - what I am saying is make sure you do your homework with these issues so you are well prepared for the challenge as it will definately be one if they have attachment issues or and attachment disorder or reactive attachment disorder....

You need to be well prepared to parent these two with anger issues (if it is anykind of attachment issues) because everything you know about parenting (or thought you did) will be challenged and it is extremely hard to raise one RAD child, I can't imagine trying to take on 2. You have to know and be sure yourself of what you can and cant do as a couple and as a family. You might be the place for these children - then again you might not - you and your husband have to make the decision as to what you feel is best for your family.. But if you suspect any attachment issues - I would make sure you get it into the adoption paperwork somehow that the state is to cover the costs of the childrens therapy as most insurances that I know of do not cover this type of therapy...and you don't want to be hung out to dry.

Currently I am fighting with the insurance to get one of my foster kids diagnosed properly and it is amazing the stuff you learn. I have a post on the attachement forum if you knew your kid had these issues would you have still adopted - most said no way it is too much to handle...and yet tomorrow I have to go into trial and say in front of the judge I am going to adopt at the TPR hearing and I still don't have a diagnosis....and I am extremely nervous about the road that lay ahead for these children either way - by staying here and me getting them the proper help or them going home - I fear they will be on the front of the local news with something horrific happening. It is a sad state of affairs let me tell ya!

Good luck with your decision...