[chielu]

isn't it wonderful, though, that a child will not lose its family? Adoption is not a remedy for infertility or a means of creating a family. Why would a potential a-parent be sad about a mother that changes her mind and decides to keep her baby? You of all people should understand how imporatnt that decision must be. A mother who decides to keep her child is a time for celebration!

Isn't adoption a last resort for a child? Children are supposed to be stay with "their" people - that's human nature - it's the natural circle of life. Isn't adoption about what's in the best interest of the child, not the adopters?

It seems you do not understand the mother's grief at losing a child or the child's grief at losing a mother, family, ethnicity, culture and ancestry- your pain comes across as more inportant than mother and child - it is wonderful when a woman feels she has the strength and ability to keep her baby. As an adoptee I am shocked at how adopters treat other people's children as if they "should" belong to them.

It's definitely not fair that some people can not conceive, but, please, ask yourself, why did you first try to naturally conceive a child? Was it because you wanted a baby that comes from you - your own flesh and blood, someone to whom you can pass on your genes and ancestry - someone that will look like you? Well, adoptees want the same thing -- we want to be part of our own flesh and blood -- to be raised with our people.

Adoptees are not put on this earth to make other people parents. Mother and child are not supposed to be separated - adoption is raising somone else's child, a child who comes into this world with a mother, father and a birth name and indentity - the idea is to do anything and everything possible to keep the family together - not tear them apart.

Please read the stories on the "adoptee" support boards - see all the adoptees who are in pain, trying to make sense of their adoption, searching for their mothers and roots. Take a look at boards for mothers searching for the children lost to adoption. Really read and grasp what adoption has created for the sake of making other people parents.