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you do get attached....
you sound like my family 2 years ago when we brought home our daughter....she too was so tiny, on oxygen, and so easy to fall in love with. And we did. I don't know if i could've handled it if she had ever gone home.
I think the idea of imagining the child as a niece is a good one. I did for the first few weeks try to treat Carly as I would've an infant in the hospital (I'm a NICU nurse). Since I tried to love all kids in the hospital like I would my own, that worked for a while. But then it started to become clear that she would probably not be going back to her bio-family and so she became a part of the family.
Good luck.
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