[Archive]

and I believe that people that truly fall in love with a child can advocate for that child and protect them and care for them better than anyone else because they are connected. Although she will still be healthy and happy if you try to keep from getting TOO involved...she won't have that connection with someone. Fall in love with her SO deeply that you know what every change of expression means, however slight...and that you'll know her likes and dislikes, if something that startles her will then make her laugh or cry. She deserves that, and it isn't bad for you either. You'll cry when she leaves but you'll never forget her- and you'll leave her with the best beginning in life that she could hope for because she had a special connection with someone that loved her deeply.

You're right that what you give her will last a lifetime...and that you'll be hurting when she goes...but it's healthy to cry, too. I want desperately to foster eventually and these issues are things that I've spent hours dwelling on...and I came to the conclusion that I simply COULDN'T protect myself if I was to give the child all the love that I could...and that my heartbreak afterward would be a great sacrifice that I'd make for the child's benefit, not necessarily mine. I'm an emotional person, I'd be surprised if I didn't have to hole up in my room and bawl for a day or two...but I'd do it for them.