[qs mom]

Well, I can say this to you - the quote from the original thread was directed at me. I admit it. I've spanked my son. Spanked, open handed, on his bottom, hard enough to sting and leave an impression in his memory, NOT his bottom.

My son has NEVER been spanked in anger. My son was never left with so much as a pink mark. My son was spanked ONLY for unsafe behavior. My son is special needs. There was a time when he didn't understand 'unsafe', 'dangerous' or any of that. He understood a spank hurt, he wouldn't do something that would get him hurt. Also, no that he understands, he isn't spanked anymore. He hasn't been spanked in about 1 1/2 years or more.

That said, I see a lot of issues. First, discipline is a behavior guidance, punishment is a consequence.

Second, using a weapon - big red flag.

Their seeming 'justification' is rationalization. It is what they know. Unfortunately. And because it's what they know, that's they do.

They need serious exposure to a 'normal' family. Just because I've spanked my son, doesn't mean that I don't use other forms of discipline - positive reinforcement, praise, hugs, kisses. These are all disciplines - methods of guiding behavior. I personally don't subscribe to rewards for good behavior, but it's out there.

The only way that they will know that their 'normal' isn't normal, is with therapy coupled with exposure to really family life.