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Written information
I wouldn't write a typewritten letter or note. As a former family law paralegal, I was amazed at husbands who went crazy when they received writings about their behavior. That's usually when they became violent against their wives . If people just said stuff about their violent behavior, it was no big deal, but seeing it in writing made them go crazy.
If ** has no control, this will give her something to really HOLD ONTO. I'd just return the bag and say thanks for letting me use the stuff and smile sweetly. I'd even add something extra from a dollar store for her, even though this will be difficult, because that way you are showing that you are the bigger person and she will then have nothing to hold onto. And then I wouldn't take anything from her or give her anything else, except a small birthday gift (such as a framed picture of the child) from you and your foster child.
Just my opinion.
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