[JohnnaMJH]

I agree with the first responder. It is very hard if the child has problems. Our son came home at 3, horrible foster care, totally spoiled, untreated pain, and an FM who one, basically told him she was his Mami for the whole time and did not prepare him and two, caused a total scene when we had to say good bye. Wailing, hanging on to me, screaming on the street so we could hear her in the hotel room. I will always believe that especially that traumatic good bye started him off on terrible footing. We had read all of the books on attachment and toddler adoption and it was and still is very difficult.

That said, I hear of many more smooth transitions from Guatemala. (he was from El Salvador) The FM's seem to do a better job, and the care seems to be better overall. Although there are no guarantees. I remember hearing of a family at our agency where they went to visit and the kids ran right up, saying Mami, Papi. That is a truly loving Foster Mom because she is preparing the children vs. selfishly holding onto something that is not meant to be.

I do think there are many wonderful things about toddler adoption, just go into it eyes wide open. And, there is nothing wrong with saying it is not right for you. We will not be doing another toddler adoption in the forseeable future. I know that even the smallest chance of a repeat of what we've gone through is too much for us. I is better for our family and for the child for us to know what our limits are.

Good luck!