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Hi Kaila,
Attachment depends on many things. Where has the child been for the first 3-4 years of his/her life. Foster care, orphanage.... how many moves, how many caregivers? Has the child ever bonded with a caregiver? If in an orphanage, what was the caregiver to child ratio?
I would also suggest you do a search on "Reactive Attachment Disorder." Then you will have an idea of what you could be facing if you do adopt a child that's never bonded or has suffered a traumatic experience.
I've adopted 2 toddlers, siblings, 2 and 3 years old. Both have been diagnosed with severe RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder). Our children are extremely difficult, major behavior problems, attention problems, sensory integration problems, speech delay. We see several doctors and therapists and it's very exhausting and challenging, they are considered special needs.
Having two with RAD is extremely difficult, even one would be a challenge! It takes all your energy and time to try to turn these children around so that they can love and they can trust and attach. I think it would affect the entire family and it's possible the rest of the children would suffer in the process.
It's possible that you could adopt a child that's fine and has no problem attaching. However I think it's important that you make yourself aware of the challenges you could be facing. Good luck to you and your family, I'm sure that what ever you decide it'll be what's right for your family and what is meant to be.
Bp
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