[kikibrando]

Okay, here's another silly little tidbit from my day. T requested the return of a diaper bag sent home with S. Okay, no big deal, but she got hostile with the social worker about this.

When S first came into care, I picked her up from the hospital. The bag is the standard Beatrix Potter version supplied by formula companies. I figured it was best to use this for visits because it's compact, handy, and has enough storage for whatever S needs for an hour visit. But apparently, there's been a problem with this the past year.

The first time I took filled it for a visit and sent it with S, the mother, T, complained the little black hospital bag wasn't good enough. So, she took that diaper bag and sent along the "all-sport utility, looks like a seabag going on a cruise, Winnie the Pooh diaper bag." Carrying this thing is like going on a two-week vacation. It's cumbersome, but I only use it on Wednesdays.

Fast forward several months.... the black diaper bag reappears, as mentioned in my other thread. I brought it home and we have used it several times. T hasn't requested it be sent back, until today. Now, she's requested it be returned, completely outfitted with all the things she sent. Okay. I can do this too. (All the while I'm thinking, she's a weenie!) Tonight, I went to the dollar store and resupplied everything I can possibly remember she put in the bag. I'll return it next week.

However, I'm getting tired of what we now call the diaper bag war in my house. Not a war from our point of view, but it just seems a control issue for T. I know this is going to get more nuts as weeks go on and this heads for TPR. I know this latest tantrum is a result of her learning we have both her children in our care. (I don't know if she's aware we finalized Ben's adoption tihs morning, or of his name change.)

My husband has suggested returning both diaper bags and simply using the one we have here at home for visits. He suggested politely telling the social worker this is the most positive, polite way to bow out of the conflict T's creating. He suggest this will allow T to carry her own bag and feel secure with whatever it is that's causing the problem. We will also hopefully avoid any receiving any further lists of what we are doing "wrong" with S.

It seems to me this is likely a positive solution. I guess I'm also just posting out of frustration with T. I do try very hard to make sure S is bathed and dressed nicely for every visit. Also, I make sure the diaper bag is well-stocked, everything washed and folded and neat.

Big sigh. Thanks for listening.