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I second Theresa Kelleher's tapes/CD's. They are designed specifically for the adoptive parent and are wonderful.
We adopted a 4 year old, almost three years ago. Had some attachment and adjustment challenges for a while. She was defiant, easily overstimulated, went to other adults to get her needs met, and had little concept of what living in a family with one Mom who cares for you was all about. Luckily, we did not have health issues or delays as she was on target developmentally. With strong attachment parenting (that I spent a great deal of time researching) and lots of effort, patience, and time....we got through it. My child is doing so well and is such a joy. Adopting at this age has it's challenges, but the rewards are incredible. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Feel free to get help here. There are many well informed adoptive parents with loads to share.
Reading material I recommend:
Attaching in Adoption by Deborah Gray
Building the Bonds of Attachment by Daniel Hughes
Beyond Consequences Logic and Control by Bryan Post
Best wishes on your adoption journey!
__________________
LilyMoon
Lucky Mom to Zak and Anastasia
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