[crabcakes]

Hi ladies - just wanted to join in the conversation.

I am also in CA and have been going through a contested adoption for almost a year now.

JSIMON - you must be in a different county because in my county (LA), my attorney told me that we had to be married at least a year.

I have a slightly similar case where the BF was incarcerated for the first 4 years of my daughter's life. They've had contact only about 5 times in the last 6 years, the last being in 2001 - with only token support, meaning that he sent a few hundred dollars collectively in the last 10 years.

Although both of your 7825s seem to be an easy win, I would be careful with the 7822 which is very tricky: (1) If the BF sent anything at all during his incarceration, it doesn't matter that he didn't support the child - as long as he's shown interest. (2) If you refuse at anytime to let him see the child, that helps HIS case because he can squash your abandonment case if he can prove that he tried to contact the child and you wouldn't let him. (3) Whatever your lawyer tells you, the court is very favorable to the BFs as long as they show signs of rehabilitation and shows up at all the court appearances. They can just sit there and drool and that's all it takes. (4) The BFs don't need any money to fight you, he will be assigned a court appointed attorney for FREE. (5) As far as the visitation goes, in L.A., it's handled in a different court, but the BF can get a lawyer to file in your county or do the paperwork himself - either way, he will most likely received immediate supervised visits without ever having to show up in court. I HIGHLY recommend filing the Termination Petition right away so your lawyer can put a "stay" on any visitation requests that the BF may pursue afterwards.

Since I've gone through the experience and now awaiting trial, if you guys want further recommendations, send me a private message. It definitely isn't as easy as the Family Codes state and personally, our family has been through emotional and financial turmoil.

You may have seen my desperate pleas for any successful contested adoptions and I haven't gotten one yet. Once told that our case was an easy win, we are now having to settle with an egotistic deadbeat. In other words, be prepared for a slippery uphill battle so HOLD ON TIGHT to each other especially the child.