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I was 16 when I gave birth. I knew her original due date was Feb 14, haven't celebrated Valentine's since, but couldn't remember the day or time, always remembered the year. February was just always extremely hard on me, mostly because I couldn't remember and that guilt was just as bad as the adoption guilt. I was told over and over and over to forget it, don't talk about it, it will go away. I was a child, I did what I was told.
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I held a jewel in my fingers
and went to sleep.
The day was warm and winds were prosy
I said, "Twill keep."
I woke and chide my honest fingers,
The gem was gone.
And now, an Amethyst remembrance
is all I own.
~~Emily Dickenson~~
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