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I would never judge or begrudge someone's efforts to raise money for an adoption or register for baby things or throw a shower - pregnant or an adoption. If someone held a garage sale and the proceeds went to finance an adoption, how would I ever know unless they advertised it? And if they did advertise it, would it affect my decision to purchase something I wanted from that sale? Of course not.
It's a personal choice if you want to donate money to the cause, buy them something from their registry or go to the shower. They are not forcing your participation.
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