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Originally Posted by bmom2amom
Her aparents agreed to letters and pictures upon request, but this was a verbal agreement only. (I was lead to believe I had no rights at all, like another poster) I received pictures until she was 6. She’ll be 18 in September. I continued to request them, but was told after a couple letters that the family moved and the attorney could no longer find them. So, not only was this a painful experience… I now feel that I made a huge mistake and chose the wrong couple. How could aparents just write off a bmom so easily? They told me in their first letter how they kept her name what I had given her because it was the one thing I gave her. When I was 18 I was touched. Now that I’m 36 it feels like it was more of a slap in the face since I gave her so much more than that. I gave her life.
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I am from the closed era.. I did not see or hold my child..
I think open adoption is the way to go..
I read the posts written by the birthmoms who were allowed to actually go into the grief process right away.. are able to actually see the baby after relinquishment.. I see that it can be a very healthy thing to do..
But you were caught in the middle.. the rules were not set up when you relinquished.. Or obviously the place where you relinquished had no rules..
I know that by law most open adoptions can not be kept open.. but I see it changing while reading these boards.. I see it getting better..
My bson is in his early forties.. He found me about five years ago.. I was able to see how he turned out.. I was able to stand back and see him and his life.. The life he has..
Maybe your birthdaughter is doing very well..
Jackie