[hadams]

Toddler is a pretty broad definition…but I think both of mine qualified.


Son was adopted at 14 months.


He was teething (had five teeth showing and enough drool to sink a ship), walking unassisted (but with his arms in the air for balance), and could, in Russian, point to known items in a book (Where is the dog? Where is the cat?) He had one word (Da!) which meant yes, no, more, eat, I am up, pick me up, put me down, and go away.


He was extremely stoic in the orphanage. You had to work hard to earn every smile. We traveled with three other families, all of adopting children of about the same ages, and he was by far the hardest to amuse. It was interesting to see all them go through the same phases while we visited them. First day, first hour, all about us. Rest of that day, all about their toys. Second day, paid more attention to us, played with us. Third day, all the kids tried switching mommies…seeing if one would pick them up, would a different one pick them up?


He loved toys that lit up or made sounds, balls, and a kiddy set of keys. He loved when his dad gave him airplane rides and the ball pit at the orphanage.

By the time we had him with us in country, we could get laughter out of him readily. But, if not being amused, he was still as stern as could be.

He traveled home fairly well. Was an absolute live-wire on one flight, and took the long flight pretty much in stride. If you had cheerios, you had his attention.

Once home, he settled in pretty quickly. Took about a week to get his schedule back on track. He was a good eater, and he checked out 100% healthy and on target at his first physical.

He was behind in speech, with no words until almost 18 months. But by 24 months, he had caught up and passed his speech developmental marker.

He has never been behind any other developmental markers (small motor, gross motor, etc.). He has grown into an extremely bright loving little boy.

Biggest surprises in bringing home a PI child this age: he had no concept of no, or not his. Everything in his world before was his to play with. Every room had been designed so that there was nothing they couldn’t touch or play with. I had removed fragile things before he came home, but didn’t realize that pillows look like balls, or that you can take out a ceiling fan with a well thrown toy.

Daughter was adopted two years later, at age two. She was the polar opposite of her brother. The day she met me, she latched on to me like a leech (which is a bad sign). She played with me, sang with me, danced with me, and giggled for me. She throw a screaming mimi fit everytime I left the room.

She got mad at me when I left, and would pout a bit each day when I first got there to let me know she was still made about my deserting her the day before.

She loved stacky cups, locking beads and mirrors.

She loved to look at books, loved to be held, loved to be on my lap. Once out of the orphanage, her earlier displays of temper were even more common. Everytime she didn’t get her way, she dropped down to the ground screaming and crying. It would only last a bit, but boy, was it challenging.

She loved to play the come to momma game (she goes to one end of a room, you squat down, hold out your arms, and call her name, she runs to you, and when she arrives you show joy, give a big hug, and lift her to the sky), Peek a Boo, and Which Hand.

We knew, just by the way she had latched on to me, that she had some attachment issues. Once home, we worked on a lot of attachment parenting with her (which is hard when you have a jealous 3.5 year old who used to be king of the hill).

She still would rage at me pretty regularly when we were face to face (like on the changing table, or when I was buckling her in her car seat).

After about six months, things calmed down a lot. After that first six months we really started to make strides to forming a secure between us. While our attachment to each other continues to grow and change, we no longer consider her to be attachment challenged.


She is still speech delayed, and receiving speech therapy through the school district. We are monitoring her for a possible auditory processing disorder.

She is on or above target in every other way (small motor, gross motor, etc.)

Biggest surprise in parenting a PI child this age: all my techniques for dealing with 2yo temper required mutual understanding. How can I convince a 2yo to stop screaming and get up off the ground in the parking lot of the target if I can distract them with a promise of something in the car?