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Old 04-17-2006, 09:29 AM
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drmalcolm drmalcolm is offline
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Hang in there, sethsmommy! First and foremost, think of this as a given: you are going to make wonderful parents to a child who needs you one way or the other.

As for where that child comes from... go with what your heart and gut are telling you in this matter. With this decision and its emotional ties, I think you really need to choose in a way that is not going to make you beat yourself up over the decision later on. As an potential adoptive parent, you have enough stress and frustration involved with this process--you don't need to be mad at yourself on top of it.

Since I'm not sure what made you all decide on China, let me just use my family as an example: we could afford China, we trust China and the process, we have a support group in the way of Asian friends who make us feel comfortable with our future daughter's background, and we feel there is a need in that country for loving families.

Now, even though the wait is awful, here's my thing--if my husband and I back out now and go with another country that doesn't feel as right for us and then there are problems with that country OR if China speeds up again, I'm going to regret my decision to change. So for my family personally, we're going to stick with China unless we are told that we can't go through with it. Now, of course, that is just us--you may not feel as sure of China and may be more drawn to another country. But do you know what I mean about having to be comfortable with the consequences?

I wish you the best of luck! Really really talk this one out with your husband, for you are both going to need to be on the same page in a decision this big--and it's easier to support each other that way, too.

Christina
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