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It's interesting that you mention that, since I was totally shocked with something similar with my 14 year old foster son! He doesn't talk a lot about the issues at home (he's in deep denial that there ARE any), but he'll sure tell parts of his life story to anyone who'll listen. Just this weekend we were in WalMart, and he was complaining about being broke. A lady in line behind us said "What did you do with your tax rebate?" (the Alberta government recently gave everyone a cheque for $400). He said calmly 'Oh, I'm in foster care, so I don't get my money. It goes into the trust fund that was set up for me when my mom was killed while driving drunk when I was six." Poor woman - I almost felt sorry for her! I'll bet she'll be more careful what she says casually in a department store! Another time A. puts his hand up in a school assembly and tells the speaker all about his experience with Child Welfare, and how he hates them because they won't let him go home. I think these kids are under so much pressure they just NEED to get some of it out, sometimes! I try to respond in a neutral but supportive way..."Gee, that must be tough." or somethign along those lines - so he feels he can add more if he wants (he sometimes does drop the most amazing details on me just out of the blue), but doesn't feel pressured to say more, like he would if I asked a direct question about it. On the other hand, with your little ones it might just be casual conversation because this is such a normal part of life for them! It's also interesting, isn't it, that their perceptions of WHY they were taken are often a little different from our understandings of it. One side issue with A. is the absolute filth and squalor the house was in - buthe seems to think that he was apprehended this time BECAUSE the house was dirty, and he blames himself for not cleaning the cat's litter box or taking out the garbage.
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