[BlessedBe]

I don't think it's necessarily out of line that your daughter's birthmom would request a sleepover, but what I do think is out of line is that she didn't ask you and your husband BEFORE saying something to M. To me, that's out of line whether it's a member of a birth family or adoptive family.

I agree that it could be one thing if it were only the birthmother living in the home, but she has her boyfriend with her whom you know nothing about. I would NEVER let my child go to anyone's home where there's someone living there that's a stranger to me. You just can't be too careful these days.

Also, although some familes have open adoptions where this type of contact is okay, many do not. Each adoption is unique and what's right for some, isn't for others and your feelings about this has has nothing to do with how much love and care for your daughter's birthmother.

I wish I had some advice on how to handle this now with your daughter and her birthmother but I'm not sure how I'd bring this up with birthmom if the same thing happened to us. Anyway, I just wanted to lend you my support and let you know that you shouldn't feel bad about this decision you've made as the parent of your daughter.