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Ok, I don't want to get bashed for saying this. It is how I FEEL. She is her birthmom and while I think it is very important for them to have a relationship and M to feel that she can ask questions about her adoption and birthmom; birthmom gave up many rights when she placed and I am her mom and I am uncomfortable with M being there over night. I trust birthmom can not say I trust her boyfriend b/c I only met him yesterday. I feel it crossed the line that she said it to M; I would not ask any of my friends children if they wanted to spend the night or come over I would ask the parent first. To me it is just being respectful.
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