Hi, Blue Daisy-
I am new around here as far as posting goes, but I felt like I needed to give my honest answer to your question. I had to sit and think for awhile what to write, not because I did not know my own answer, but because it is very hard to lay it
all, every part, out there. Let me explain....
I am nearly done with my paper chase, which means I have a very long way to go before I meet my daughter. Despite this, I feel a connection to this little person already down to my very soul- I know you and any adoptive parent understand this without explaination. This connection is a love so absolute that, if I were able, I would change the very circumstances that are to bring her my way. By that I mean yes, I would be in favor of changing government policies in China that contribute to the many children in orphanges, even if it meant I would possibly never meet my daughter.
Now for the ugly, soul bearing, second part of the answer. I am also very human. The part of me that wants to know my daughter someday, secretly weeps at the idea that I would never meet her, even knowing it
may mean better ( no abandonment etc. ) circumstances for her. I worry, like a lot of waiting parents, that something will happen and that it may never come to be. I guess that is a part that is very hard to admit- it is a very real part of this process, at least for me. Maybe there are others out there who can say with a pure heart that they would not have these difficult to admit feelings, if they had the ability to change the policies. I am only telling you mine. I do think they are very natural feelings.
So, there you have it- warts and all.
Thank you for your question. I think it was a good, thought provoking one. I hope you don't mind my asking you one in return- (you don't have to answer it here, only for your own thoughts.)
Would you support a change in the circumstances in Ethiopia that brought your son to the point that he is available for adoption? What if it meant you would never meet him?
I ask the above question only because it seemed that maybe you might have asked your question because you were doing your own "soul searching."
I don't think there is a single "right", as far as each persons own feelings are (not ethically), answer to these questions, but I do think we all have our own.
Best wishes to you!