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My first thought is to make sure she is actually getting the message. Emails get discarded by spam filters, mail doesn't make its way there, people change their address or phone number, etc. Then if you know she's getting it, I would try to figure out why she isn't responding. Is she too busy? Does it hurt her too much to think about him? Is she just exhausted from life? Is she the type of person who gets absorbed in what she is doing and intends to call back but becomes occupied with something else in the mean time? There are lots of reasons she might not respond. Once you figure that out, you can decide on a game plan. If it looks like she isn't going to be in the picture, you can start explaining it by saying something like that Mommy Anne knows that he has a family now and he is doing so well that she is spending her time taking care of new little ones. (Explaining the differences between foster parents and adoptive parents so he is clear your job won't be done any time soon.) That she loved him very much and took such good care of him when he was with her, and how appreciative you guys are for all she did, and now that her job with him is done, you probably won't see her much anymore, but you can pray for her and can make notes for her to let her now what a great job she did, etc.
Then you break it to him that he isn't going to see her slowly and you couch it in a lot of praise for her so he feels warm and cozy inside about her still and that it is OK to feel that way, and it gives him a way to direct those feelings that are not dependant on her response.
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