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Originally Posted by onceisenough11
I am a new member here and just recently found out I was pregnant. I am considering adopting, although am not totally sure yet. I have a question for birth moms who put their children up for adoption: Do any of you struggle with the guilt of adopting a baby out and then later in life parenting one? I just feel that if I give this child up for adoption, that somehow I am not "entitled" to have or raise any more. I do really want children, but this point in my life is not the best and I was caught totally off guard. Can you ever have a family life after adoption without the overwhelming pain? Please help.~ Thanks.
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Hey Sweetheart, you have a big decison to consider. I wish the best for you on your decision.
Yes. You can still parent a child after placing one for adoption.
If you dont mind, I would like to share with you a few adoption situations that I personally am touched by.
#1: My lil sister got pregnant at the age of 15 and gave birth right after she turned 16. She wanted to finish school and was not ready for the responsiblities of raising a child alone. So she decided to place her son up for adoption. Today, she is a proud mommy of a 16 years old son, who she has raised alone and is, in my opinon, doing a better job than I did. ( her second son.. she does not regret placing her first son up for adoption)
#2: I got pregnant at 17 and gave birth after I turned 18. I decided to keep my baby. I basically raised her alone for the first 11 years of her life. 10 years ago this Oct. I lost custody and her step father finished the adoption papers we started while we were married. My daughter and I are reuniting this summer. (she is 21)
#3: My second pregnancy, I was 19. And I gave birth after I turned 20. After a divorce, and my daughter got struck by a car, I went into premature labor. He was in the hospital from July til the mid of Oct. that year. By Dec. I decided I was unable to support him and decided on adoption. (he is 19 and I am in hopes of a reuinon one day)
#4: My third pregnancy, I was 21 and gave birth shortly after I had turned 22. Her father and I lived together when she was born. And we was unable to provide for her. His parents took custody but returned her to us when she was almost 2 years old, after we got married so we could be a family once again. A few years later, when we divorced, his parents adopted her the same day we signed our divorce papers. My youngest daughter and I have reunited last Aug. And are currently in the "time out" stage. (she is 17)
In my opinion: You can still have other children after placing one up for adoption. And if I look bad because I had three and placed three, then oh well. I had them at difficult times in my life. I am forever grateful for their parents that had adopted them and provided for them. I am also grateful that I had the chance to become a mother. For I love all three of my children and I did what I did because of the love I have for them.
Best wishes in your decision.
Judy