Thank you so much to all of you. It was so nice to get such well thought out, helpful advice from the heart. I (luckily) still have many months to decide what to do, but I am going to seek therapy from someone not associated with any agency. Like all of you said, they have an interest first and foremost in getting me to place my child.
I especially liked the "yes, I "deserve" to raise another child after adoption" attitude. Feeling somehow "unworthy" to have a baby in the future if I adopt my child out is what I am struggling with right now..well, along with about a million other things!!
Thanks again to all.