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We went into our adoption knowing with out a doubt that we didn't want an open adoption and we let our birthmother know this up front. We assured her that we would help locate her if our daughter ever wanted to know her. Now, almost two years later, I just got off the phone with "E", then called her grandmother and we are in the process of planning our second visit for dd's second birthday. I think it is okay to know what you want as far as openness but you have to be sure you make it known to everybody involved upfront. Then, if you change your mind later, it's okay and nobody is let down. Speaking from our experience, follow your heart and it will lead you in the right direction over time.
Good luck
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