I am an adult adoptee from the closed era of adoptions. When we learned we would not be able to conceive, we pursued domestic infant adoption. I went into the porocess thinking I could easily do a closed adoption, the way my parents adopted me. I quickly learned that open is the trend now, and while you may find a birthmother that wants the same things you do, it may take longer.
Most agencies I spoke with discouraged me from wanting a closed adoption saying open was proven to be better.
(I personally had a hard time grappling with that one, since I was in a closed adoption, and thought it worked out great for me! However that is ONLY MY OPINION
)
After almost a year and thousands of dollars later, we were not able to find a birthmother that wanted what we did, and we finally decided we would not be interested in an open relationship and stopped our adoption pursuits.
Ultimately we went back the IVF route and are currently expecting through a surrogate.
So, no, you are not alone in your initial thoughts.
However, I will urge you to do a lot of research and thinking and listening (on these forums).
Please make an informed decision. There are many wonderful folks on this board who are in open adoptions and have made it work, and may I add, work wonderfully! It just may not be right for everyone.
Know your limitations and capabilities.
Best wishes whatever you decide.