[taramayrn]

Hi Dian,
Just noticed that no one has replied to you yet. First off, (((HUGS))). I think that it is important for a child to have a relationship with their birthfamily. Now to what extent that is up to you. I agree that visits once a month is alot, especially since you live far away. Can you do a bit of negotiating with her? I believe that you need to set some boundaries with mom. Sounds like she also needs some education about open adoption. Maybe sending her a few books to read might help her. She is right in one aspect when she says she will always be his mother. But if she TPRs you will be his mommy - two different things and two different roles. If you sense any coparenting going on during visits, etc you will have to nip these issues in the butt immediately. Be open and honest with her, but also set some limits and boundaries. This won't be easy but it is necessary for a healthy relationship.
Good luck!