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Personally, I think that any couple who would not want to educate themselves on anything and everything before bringing home older children (and I mean any kid older than 18 months), is not only doing themselves a huge disservice, but an enormous disservice to the children they are adopting as well.
Adopting an older child is not the same as an infant adoption. It very, very often requires a different type of parenting---sometimes doing this temporarily, sometimes parenting like this forever. There are just too many variables in adopting an older child; and it requires a parent who is well versed and ready to accept the best AND worst of scenarios.
Of our seven......four have been infants, three were older (ages 6, 7, and 3yrs). All three were not adopted together. After years of parenting, one is going to age out in residential, and the other two have become disrupted, without our being charged with neglect or abandonment. We thought we were VERY prepared. We were wrong.
I can't blame you at all for being upset that these people aren't willing to put themselves AND their future children in the best light possible. I think you're being very nice to attend this event, regardless of their attitude; and I guess you could continue the friendship in letting them know that 'Well, we'll be here if/when you need us.'
My best to you in your efforts.
Sincerely,
Linny
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