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Ahhh, men! You can't live with 'em....you can't live without 'em!!!!!
But, seriously, I can understand your frustration in all of this. This IS an important matter, if, after you bring home a baby, he continues with 'not paying attention to detail in important things'.
First, I think you did wisely in not going to the pot luck. My feeling would be: "Since you did not consult with me before commiting to this, I will not take time to cook." A couple of times if this happens, and surely dh will get the message.
Secondly, have you told him how this makes you feel whenever he 'forgets' things like this? It's not just the 'forgetting'.....it seems to me that it's the inconsideration he seems to have. Now, in his defense, maybe he's a little ADHD and simply doesn't think about these details (a lot of men do not). And, maybe he doesn't realize how important some of this stuff is in the long run---especially to you. But, that's where the talking and such comes in.
Express to him that you're concerned when a baby comes into the family, he'll not concern himself with details that could make the difference between a safe child and a horrific accident.
I don't know how long you've been married, but after having been with dh for over 30yrs (and adopting seven times)......I've come to realize that sometimes his 'unconcern' for simple things........isn't that big of a deal---even though it's something that drives me crazy. BUT.....if the 'unconcern' your dh is having IS not dealing with the 'big things'....then you definately need to talk.
My guess is that he doesn't realize how much this affects you; and, after you have serious discussions, things may be a little clearer for both of you.....
Just my two-cents......
Sincerely,
Linny
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