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Originally Posted by jpe
I have never been in your situation but I must say this. Read the boards here where all these loving people are dying for the opportunity to adopt a baby. They would LOVE you forever for giving them the opportunity to parent. If you're not in the right situation to parent, and the timing is bad, I personally feel like I'd be at ease just knowing I am giving my child to a family that is fully ready and eager to support and raise a baby. I'm sure it's much easier said than done but I would feel happiness knowing I did the right thing rather than guilt. You need to think long and hard though -- maybe talk to a psychologist and talk with an agency get advice/couseling. In my mind the most important question would be "can another family provide and support your baby better than you can"?
I wish you the best of luck in your decision. Babies are a beautiful thing and I think it's wonderful whenever anyone creates a baby, whether they give it up or not.
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Dear onceisenough11,
I don't even know where to start with the advice that you have gotten in the post above.
"They would LOVE you forever for giving them the opportunity to parent."
Yes, they
may LOVE you forever, but they also may want to have nothing to do with you after they have your baby.
"I'm sure it's much easier said than done but I would feel happiness knowing I did the right thing rather than guilt."
Do not take advice from this person who has never gone through relinquishing a child for adoption. Please read the forums that birth parents post on and listen to what adoption is REALLY like for birth parents.
"You need to think long and hard though -- maybe talk to a psychologist and talk with an agency get advice/couseling."
True, but it is very unlikly that you will get counseling that is in your best interest at an agency. Agencies are businesses that make money through adoption.
"In my mind the most important question would be "can another family provide and support your baby better than you can"? "
Don't think this way. My husband and I have two children. There are probably zillions of families who could provide for and support them better than we have. That does not mean that those families were entitled to our children. Don't start comparing yourself to other people. This kind of talk is very insulting to you. The most important question really is - do you want to parent your child?
Happy G'Ma