I am a mama who has two wonderful children. My son is seven, and is the light of my life. My daughter is 15 months, and is also the light of my life. They both sparkle. But in distinct individual ways
One of them is adopted. One of them grew in my belly. But don't ask me which one. I can't tell them apart!
The truth is, I am both of their mothers. That's a given. However, the reality is, one of my kids also has a biological mother (and extended family).
Am I afraid that my child will grow up someday and look at me differently? Absolutely NOT! It's very important to remember (and teach) your children that families form together in many different ways. It's also important to acknowledge your child's biological heritage.
The fact that I did not give birth to one of my kids doesn't mean that I am less of a mother to that child. I am the only mother my children know. I don't treat my children any differently. They are MY kids. PERIOD!
Now, if an adoptive parent looks at their child differently, than that child will FEEL different. If she makes a distinction that her child is the "adopted" child, then that's what the child will become.
If you raise your children in a loving, safe, positive and nurturing family, your child will become that loving, secure and happy adult.