[familyforever]

DH and I are having a hard time with his family right now. In his family there are 8 kids (three in his and 5 steps). We were the first ones married. We went through all the infertility tests being the only ones married. His mom wasn't married at the time, so there were only the three brothers. She knew I was having problems, but didn't know exactly what mostly because she never asked. If she had, I would have told her, but she had a lot of stress of her own at the time. We adopted our son about a week after she was married to her husband.

Fast forward three years..... It is been almost two years since we started trying to adopt again. Since we started again one of my SIL's got pregnant and had a baby and now two more are pregnant. Whenever we go to family functions that is all that is talked about. They talk about how sick they are. MIL goes on and on about how they can't be expected to do anything because they are pregnant. The SIL that just had the baby talks about how she wants a lot of kids, but it just took so long for her to get pregnant this time (it took two months.)

It is so hard for me when they are all complaining about being pregnant. I would give anything to be pregnant. I know it is the most important thing in their lives right now and don't expect them not to talk about it. My MIL is the biggest problem. She is constantly bringing up how excited she is for all these babies and talking about babies, even when the SILs aren't around. It is truly hard for me. DH has talked to her several times. I know she can't understand what we are going through because she hasn't been in this position, but I need her to at least understand that I need a break from everyone talking about babies. I get it everywhere. Church, friends and family. I don't expect everyone to not talk about it, but I would like her not to keep trying to discuss everyone else's babies with me. We have asked, and it stops for maybe a week or so, but then that's all she can talk about. We have talked to her now, but I dont' know if it's because we didn't talk to her about it when the infertility tests were going on or what, but she is not getting it.

How have you helped your family to understand what you are going through? At least have an idea that this is hard and the pangs never really go away. I know that if we ever are able to adopt again, it will be at least bearable for a little while, but I have always wanted a large family and am still dealing with the fact that it probably won't happen. What has helped you to deal with these types of situtations?

Sorry this is so long.

Elizabeth