[angelkisses0102]

Originally Posted by Barton

One thing that I have a concern with on this blog is that I rarely (if ever) reading any negitive postings. I hope that everyone is doing great and that their children are adjusting well, but statistically speaking... not everyone can be doing great!

I wonder sometimes if some parents are in (for a lack of a better word) .... denial.

It seems like most people that post here are still in that "Honeymoon Period" where even though there may be some signs of some serious underlying issues, they kind of disregard those signs and pretend that everything is going to be "ok".. just because they are so happy to finally be parents and have the child home. We is completely understandable. I would be the same way if I were in their shoes.

I wish more people would be frank and honest in their assessment of their child without allowing emotion to cloud their judgement.

I would also like to see people that have adopted 1,2, or 3 years ago post on this blog and give a true assessment of where there child is at now...and see how it differs from when they first adopted.

I don't want to come off as negative... but I have a feeling that we don't always get the whole story from parents that post on this site.

I certainly understand that your love for the child can make you overlook obvious signs of serious issues.

Just some observations.

You must have never read any of my posts...hahaha! Honestly, read my story...It took us 23 long months for my son to attach and he was adopted the day after he turned 8 months. (Gee you sound like a 'plant' for me to respond to.)

Honestly...you are very correct unfortunately...most issues are simply overlooked in the beginning as 'well that is just my child' when in all actuality...there are issues...or they are still in the honeymoon period. Also, many issues do not appear until the child is about 4 or school age...this is when parents realize that there is something 'different' with their child. Also at this point many children with underlying isses with attachment will be diagnosed with everything EXCEPT atttachment disorder. However once the attachmenmt is addressed, many of the other diagnoses also go away.

I can list some of the reasons why it seems so happy here...besides the denial. Most of the people who have issues do not continue to post...they get their kids, come home and realize it ain't all fun and roses and we never hear from them again. Sometimes they post for a short time afterward and then drift away as their issues increase. I honestly get between 8 and 10 PM's from folks who do not post on the public forum, per month, who now realize that their child is attachment disordered...often times what was once simply an attachment struggle has now progressed to a full blown attachment disorder or even RAD. The parents tend to realize 'the error of their ways' and then spend many months and possibly years trying to heal their child.

Also, for some reason, there is a 'stigma' many parents feel regarding attachment...like it is a bad reflection on them...when in reality, it has nothing to do with them.. However, it becomes a bad reflection upon the parent if they choose to ignore it...which also happens...and often those adoptions end up disrupting!

Finally, come on over to 'the other side'....click on my link in my signature and read every post there...go to special needs and read there...that is the reality of adoption...for some of us...

These children are not 'normal' kids...their life experiences do not allow that...some do well, some do terrible, the rest fall somewhere in between. How many of us have experienced total loss of everything we ever knew, have been neglected, abused, hungry, thirsty, cold and sick and no one to care for us? This is what many of our kids experienced in their short lives...it stands to reason it will have some effect on them.

OK, stepping off the soapbox for now...