[LilyMoon]

I don't think I was prepared enough even though I did the research and knew the possibilities. It is one thing to read the literature and hear the information. It is another thing to live it. I knew it was possible that my daughter would be upset at having two strangers take her from all she knew....but somehow I wasn't prepared to pry a screaming child off the doorknob to our hotel room and be up the entire night trying unsuccessfully to calm her down and get her to sleep!

I think as much as we prepare, it's hard to know exactly what you will be dealing with when you have your child and be really ready for it.

My agency does have prepatory workshops for those that live nearby. They now have a tape of the workshops for out of state parents but didn't when we adopted. They have attachment workshops too. They were very supportive when we came home and had language and attachment struggles. I was on the phone with them many times and they sent me tons of great resouces too. My social worker also gave us a catalog of books to look through that we could order. The social worker who does the homestudy should also prepare parents.

I do think it is part of the adoptive parents job to prepare as much as possible ahead of time. There are so many ways to find support and information from websites, support groups and forums such as this one. We have a responsibility to ourselves and our children to be as informed as possible and to continue to inform ourselves as issues crop up once we are home. I know for myself, even though we have been home for almost 3 years and my daughter is attached and doing well, I continue to look for new and better ways to parent my children. I want to continue to grow and meet the needs of my children as they grow and need me to.