[Kasey]

Well in my experience, our first agency (even though things got bad with them and we had to switch), really did a great job with preparation and education, our homestudy was great learning process with info on promoting attachment, post adoption depression, what to look for, she tolod us it was ok to not have love at first sight and really told us to also try not to overanalyze every little thing, but to just relax, hibernate together as a family as much as we could and ASK for help if we felt overwhelmed. So in that aspect, our previous agency was great!
Being a nurse I also tend to read and research more. But I also believe that too much research in the beginning can be deterimental.
I think agencies should definitely help prepare, there are even online learning tools (we just had to do this for homestudy update), but PAP's should also take the time to read and learn. I agree basically with the concept of prepare for the worst and hope for the best. But I also think too much knowledge can be bad, if once home all you do is worry and second guess everything your child does, each little behavior, every sound, or noise, second guess everything you do or say around your child, etc..I think getting comfortable, relaxing with your child, doing attachment techniques, just getting to know your child, especially in the beginning is important.
I think you can do this, while also putting possible red flags in the back of your mind for the moment (write them down, your concerns and such).
To me, it is like a lot of patients I have treated, who learn all sorts of medical stuff on the internet and then sit around and analyze themselves for each symptom of every diagnosis.

I really think, that maybe the analysis or review of your situation or child should come after a month or two home, you have learned more about your child, their habits, their personality, they are hopefully getting comfortable with their surroundings and hopefully you are getting comfortable with being a parent. Then take a step back and look at how things are going, I would look back at anything I have written in my journal, or notes I jotted down or things that worried me and then see A.) are these still there? B.) If they are, what is my step, what can I do to change these things or who should I seek help from?

What I do think is very important and that agencies, fellow parents and family members should be more in tune too, is making sure parents know they can ask for help, they won't be judged, that it is ok to feel overwhelmed, stressed, frantic at times, just ask for help.
Ok, that is just my two cents on the topic! I defintely think it is our job to be prepared, now matter how a child comes into your family (if you were pg, you would be reading all the What to Expect books,etc..) so the same should be for adoption--read and learn. BUt also keeping in mind, that on the job learning is the biggest thing when it comes to parenting!