[angelkisses0102]

I was recently having an offline discussion & was asked this question, from someone who researched Russian adoption but opted to follow a different route based on what their agency stated to them. I responded that I would pose the question here...it just took me a while! I edited out some but here is the gist of the question...

I feel that often when parents adopt internationally, they are lulled into a false sense of security. They think that RAD only happens to American foster children. They don't want to face the possibility. At least with domestic foster adoption, we were forced to go to classes and learn the symptoms for the disorders that our children may have. We learned how to access treatment. International adopters (as far as I know) now don't have to do that.

We adopted because we didn't want to do the infant thing again. We did NOT want a child with RAD. We were trying to decide between an older child from Russia or from US. We chose US becuase we were told that it was more likely to get a RAD child from a Russian orphanage. Do the agencies tell them that it won't happen?

I too am curious...I know my agency did absolutely nothing to prepare us...I did it all on my own. And I am not just talking RAD...but anything pertaining to a post institutionalized child and their transition to family life. What did your agency talk to you about? Did they inform you on attchment and bonding? What the warning signs are of a child who is struggling with their transition? How to make it easier on the child? How to get help post-adoption for the child who struggles? What is normal for our kids?

There are so many posts that seem to repeat time and time again regarding issues that really the PAP should know about and be prepared to deal with...yet many of us are not. Development, growth, sleeping, eating, potty training...etc.

Do we blame the agencies? I say yes, in part...but we should also know what to expect and really listen to those who have walked in our shoes before us. We should research and read and read and read. Prepare for the worst and pray for the best...because we never know how our child will react until they are home...and what if you get the 'one' who struggles?!

OK, I rambling..but you get my drift right???

****ETA**** This person does have a child who is RAD...***