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I would suggest Parenting With Love and Logic(there is one for kids birth to 6 that is good as well from the same series but the name escapes me at the moment)Jim Faye and Foster Cline series.
I would also recommend reading When Love is Not Enough by Nancy Thomas.
With the background you describe, I would want to work with an attachment therapist. He likely has lots of preverbal trauma issues that need to be addressed. He can't tell you what's wrong because he didn't have the words to understand what was happening to him. Also, AD kids have impaired cause and effect thinking and don't learn well from their mistakes so they don't get the relationship between consequences and actions.
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