[shef]

I am trying to sort or process things through in myself.....
Ive rectnly had a change of perspective or grwoing change toward what I saw as total rejection by my bmother toward me....it is coming about by re-reading my adoption files and seeing things I missed last year......

In order to try and help myself in this process, I tried to read a book on adoptee traumas..and in there it talks about adoptees having a false sense of self....and then having to discover their true selves. Part of that process is letting go of defence mecahnisms or ways of coping with all the unknown stuff throught the years and the pain etc.....

so now Im in a bit of the middle of the road...changing from one set of thinking to another in order to move on or get unstuck....but in doing so..i am having to let go of some of my well worn thoughts and ways of protecting myself. The book talks about learning to trust yourself an dyour feelings....

One of the things I am beginning to acknowledge to myself (and what others have seen about me) is a sense of ow self worth ...the book says ...quote: The feelings of being unworhty of receiving love is one of the biggest issues the adoptee must change. To over come this feeling, he must re-examine it, using all the new insights he has gained about himself. He must let go of this sense of unworthiness....If the adoptee cannot readjust this thinkinga nd continues to feel unlovable, he will likely continue to sabotage any future relationships. He must come to love himself unconditionally.

it then goes onto to talk about self nurture..self love.....

my question is....do other adoptees (or anyone really) relate to this stuff, and if you have been "stuck" waht are things that have heped you to get unstuck and move forward in your perspectives and building self love?

How do we really know waht our true self is?

shefalie