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helloandgoodbye, aisha 101 - thank you both for your input. Even tho it is hard for me (from my side of it) to imagine someone not wanting to get to know, meet or maybe even have some kind of relationship with their b-mom/b-child I do understand everyone has different feelings on this. I guess it's like personalities, everyone has one and every one is different. Each of us are entitled to our own opinion and feelings and should not be looked down upon for feeling the way we do just as there are many different reasons why we relinquished our babies. I know there are some b-mom's who do not want any contact too, again everyone has their reasons and should be respected. I have not and would not push my b-daug for a relationship, I have left that up to her. I have never even mentioned the word 'reunion' to her, the most I have done is ask if I could call her on the phone (in May 2004), to which she said she felt more comfortable this way (email/cards/letters) and I haven't brought it up again. I told her from the begining it was up to her as to if, how and at what pace this proceeded if any. It took her 4 months to decide if she wanted any contact and then for another 4 months we corresponded thru the CI only, first names only, no email addresses, no phone numbers, no physical addresses....nothing. She understands that I did not contact her to hurt her, her mom or dad. In fact we don't and have not for quite some time talked about her being my b-daug, me being her b-mom or anything to do with that subject. I have told her and truely believe her mom and dad are just that, her parents. They are the ones who took her home from the hospital as a baby, and have been there for her every day and night in her life, good and bad. I may have gave life to her but they are the ones who gave her a life. It takes more to be a parent than giving birth and they have been the ones that have done all of that. Yes, I admit I would like more but I just feel blessed and so greatful that she has allowed me to know about her at all. Finding out about her was something I had wanted to do since I was 16 1/2 yrs old. It took me 35 1/2 yrs to find out that I had had a girl, I was blind folded in the delivery room and was never told if I had had a boy or a girl, my mother died in March 2000 and took that bit of info to her grave with her. I feel sorry for the adoptees' who search and find their b-parent(s) only to be rejected too. Everyone has their reason for searching, choosing not to search or refusing contact and each should be respected in their wishes.
Sorry I've rambled on and on like this.....
Sheila
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