[scandi]

It has been something that I have been wondering about for awhile but have never really heard anything about until I saw it here. When my son came to me he was very physically abusive. I was restraining him frequently for his safety and mine. I had bruises all the time. Not to mention bite marks.

I fell apart one day at work. Thankfully I have a wonderful supervisor who sent me home with my own driver (coworker of my choice). They also made arrangements for me to meet with a therapist who consults with our agency. I am a child protection worker and have done a few adoptions as well. The therapist told me that I was experiencing feelings quite similar to domestic abuse victims.

Things have changed quite a bit in the past year and a half. I took him off all of his meds and the aggression is pretty much gone. Though sometimes I still feel exhausted/ depressed it is not what it used to be. I have wondered if I have had something like post partum depression but I have heard so many different things about it I don't know if I fit the mold. Some say that moms with this want to harm their child - I can't lie I have run the scene thru my head esp. when he was really aggressive with me but never did it. Others say you just cry all the time - I have never done that.

So, I don't know where I fit but I do know that I have SEasonal affective disorder and the grey of winter always makes me depressed so hopefully know that it is spring things will perk up.