[leaabc123]

As a foster parent to children whose parents are in the end stages of TPR, there are two answers here.

First, like no person is the same as any other, birth mothers are not the same. The ones who choose to place are in a different place and category, if that makes sense.

While, foster parents do have reasons to celebrate when a TPR occurs, there is also usually some regret and sadness there as well. We will celebrate when TPR is final because it will mean our kids will have the stability in life that they deserve and it will mean that we will be mostly done with the "system" of foster care.

TPR is usually something that takes years to complete, even with the new laws. There are many loopholes for bio-parents and relatives. In the meantime, kids may languish in several different homes. They may sabatoge adoptive placements and make it even harder to find another one (we have seen our kids' siblings do just this). When it is done, there is a sense of relief for foster parents and for kids, altough there may be grief and sadness as well.

We are sad because it means tremondous loss for our kids in that their first parents could not or would not get it together. As they get older, they will know the reasons for this and it will not be easy.