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It's easier to see the "fruits of our labors" when they're a bit older.....right now they're kinda still taking it all in. Once it comes out "processed" in their actions, relationships etc....I've noticed the guilt and worry lessens...I STILL over analyse tho!
I don't feel any guilt when I speak to another mom who *I* believe is doing it right based on how I see her kids are...then I speak to her about all my "shortcomings" or what I have been thinking have been shortcomings and I realize she falls short of MY mark too! then I relax and figure if her kids are this decent (teen yrs) then my shortcomings won't matter as much as I imagine either. Then I have more days that are better and less days that are rough and I think OK, I've found a groove. If she were perfect all the time, I worry about that too....... I focus mainly on the things that are an absolute NO-NO (disrespect, rudeness anger management etc..) and I worry less about things which are simply undesireable or an annoyance (whining, chatterbox, pessimism, slow eater etc..) I have GOOD one on one time when we run errands together (1/2 hr commute by freeway) and I can wait until she is in school to do artsy projects (there will be more than enough then). I read EVERY night to her and try to focus on teaching her one new thing a week (non-structured) like when we see a letter painted on the mountain (for the name of the school/town etc..) we discuss the name of the letter, the sound it makes, some words that start with that letter etc.. or whatever subject has struck her fancy that week. We'll talk about it at random times throughout the week as we go about our day.
I also find the one thing that my dd does BETTER than any other child and try to remember that. For example, my child is the BEST behaved in public of ANY 5 yr old I've seen yet. I can take her anywhere and she'll act appropriately.
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