[manon]

I adopted my daughter Sasha when she was 24 months old (had 2nd b'day when I was in Russia on trip #2 waiting out the 10 day waiting period). She's now 4.5 & doing fine.

She bonded pretty quickly, I think. She didn't smile at all on the first trip (which scared me to death) but she wanted me to play with her & hold her. I could tell because when I'd try to put her down, she'd hold on tighter & start to cry. When we left the orphanage together the 1st time (during the 10-day wait, just to go to photographer's office for passport photos, then back to Baby Home), she reached for me & didn't want to be held by anybody else, not even while I was climbing out of the van. We held hands as we walked, too.

I think it helped that I learned some Russian to speak to her (thanks to Teresa Kelleher's CD & book). Later, it helped lower her frustration level to learn some baby sign language & I wish I had started that sooner. Her Russian comprehension seemed pretty good at 24 months but she was only saying a few words then. I think the children were encouraged to be QUIET.

It took her quite a while to work up the courage really to babble & try to talk, at least I think that's what was going on. She learned English really quickly; I could tell she understood everything that was being said to her within about a month or two. But she didn't really start talking til much much later than that. She was starting to talk & communicate a lot more by the time she turned 3. And then I started her in preschool & I think that helped a lot too. She still doesn't speak as clearly as I'm sure she will later, but she talks a lot these days.

If I had it to do over again, I'd probably just go ahead & have her sleeping with me the first few months at least. I think she's gotten a lot more affectionate & tells me she loves me more since she has started coming into my room to sleep sometimes (now that she's no longer in the crib & is in her big girl bed). That's become a constant problem lately (waking up enough to steer her back to her own bed), but I think that's pretty common for lots of kids (bio too). But I think it does make her feel closer to me.

I was kind of relieved when she started being shy around other people, which took around a year or so. But I think she did attach to me pretty quickly, and I think it's true that kids can sense commitment. That also means she generally reserves her worst behavior for me.

There are still SO MANY FIRSTS for children coming to the US to live after living in an orphanage in Russia that I really don't feel like I missed out on anything that way. I wish I could have known her and loved her and taken care of her since she was born, and I'm grateful for the few photos I managed to get of her when she was littler -- she likes to look at those sometimes too. But I would not hesitate at all to recommend toddler adoption (other than to recommend athletic training ahead of time!).